Is this really bad? Please answer I feel horrible:(?

hey, **** happens. This is probably messing with your head and making life stressful for you at the moment. But when you think about it, he has a girlfriend and you have a boyfriend. That means that he might not be feeling that good about it either. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't blame yourself for letting it go so far, when its not all you, it was him as well. We all do things that we wish we didn't, or even want to go back and do over a better way. Let it go, you've already punished yourself enough. You can't change what happened so just move on and get it out of your system. Do something to take your mind off things, something fun, and don't beat yourself up anymore. You sound like a good person, try to relax and enjoy your life, because what else can you do? good luck :)